In response to the discussions that have arisen around leadership needs in my synagogue, with the search for a new Rabbi, I propose this alternative job advertisement. To the tune of “The Perfect Nanny” from Mary Poppins.
The Perfect Rabbi
by Rachel Harris:
Have a clever disposition
Small beard, no smell!
Give shirs, and spell
You must be kind, you must be knowing
Very active and outgoing
Talk about Israel, kasher pots
Sing niguns, laugh lots
Never be cross or strict
Never watch our practice and convict
Make sure you have a son or daughter
And a wife who conjures soup from water
If you won’t scold and dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us
We won’t sleep during sermons
Or leave to pee
Ignore your lectures
Or refuse your fee
Hurry, Rabbi!
it’s not a paradox
Sincerely yours,
The Modern Orthodox
email print