Show me the money, I’ll shomer shabbat.
What kind of Jew are you looking for?
I swing from Renewal to Orthodox and
My havdalah is spiced to the core.
Or it can be mild if you want that from me.
I mean, to serve your community.
I aim to please.
I’ll bend my knees
And bow to our ancestral deity.
It’s not that I don’t believe; I do,
Though our versions may vary in tone.
The skeletons of our tradition might match
But not always the flesh on the bone.
Friday night, I’m usually drinkin’ with friends
Sans blessings for bread or for wine,
But I’ll lecha the dodi at your shul
For just $99.99.
I’m not just a Jew, I’m a pro, as you’ll see
When I sign my emails “b’shalom.”
I’m grateful for work—a job is a job—
So if you’ll keep me fed and with home
Then I’ll shoulder the tallis and teach you the text,
B’reishit to dear Moses’ end.
A Jew that’s for hire
Through black and white fire,
An actor who’s paid to pretend.email print